Thursday, November 25, 2010

to the KL and back

Was surprised by the pleasantness and bonded-ness of everyone on this trip. There were very very funny hiccups on the first day, on the way there, but eventually, things got sorted out. I just knew in my gut, gut feeling? that the 3rd car driving up to KL, given the combination of people on it, would result in th 4 of them getting lost. I was kinda anticipating it.
For one, the 4 of them, except 1, were the playful and jovial/chatty sort. Who seemed less street-wise literally. They would be more focussed on the group being happy, and talking to everyone. What navigation would result unless they were born and bred in KL? Sigh. FYI, that car finally reached KL only at 7.30pm way after all our dinners were eaten. They looked very tired, frustrated but relieved. They became closer friends as a result.

Not bad eh....3 lost people + 1 streetwise person still = lost. Lol.They were armed with GPS too, on phone and on computer....
.....While we (2nd car) had nothing but 3 streetwise ppl + 1 sleeping beauty which still = Found the place quickly.

The 1st car went alone by itself to reach only around the same time as us.
I only remembered walking aimlessly around some mall. BATA was there! i got 2 pairs of sandals at $12 and $14! My head was crying out to go back to sleep so I (my mind) was totally not there. The night before we were clowning around at botanic gardens trying to sing carols or practice. And i was too excited about road trip to sleep. So again, 2 to 3 hours of sleep does damage!!

I never remembered the shopping nor the malls, nor the massage place nor the hotel. What i remembered and treasured were the friendships and the spiritual insight, fears and hopes, dreams i shared with people on the trip.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

you can't plant and grow the seed

Ergh.....When you're really uncomfortable about life and in life at times, or feel lost or demoralized or worse down in the dumps, that's when the Bible or Word of God really speaketh to you (to me actually). Ok for the record, i'm definitely not down in the dumps nor depressed. I'm just doing damage prevention for days like that.

lol....I just mean that we all have days like that but it should remain as "a day" and the bible says "do not let the sun go down on your anger" but i feel it should also be said, "do not let the sun go down on your down-ness".

I was suddenly reminded of the parable of the sower today and about sowing seeds into people around, not matter how little the seed may be or how little you think you can speak/talk, a seed is still better than no seeds sown into your friend's life.

As much as one can sow a seed, someone at church told me, only God can grow it. A very good reminder for us to Do our part but leave the results to Him. Not by human effort but what God wills and does.

1 Corinthians 3
5 What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9 For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

Friday, November 19, 2010

i wanna know what love is....

Today was an amazing workout again, this time really emphasizing on building up to the 5 Dec Standard Chartered event that 15000 or more Singaporeans are going for...I like the anticipation of preparing for something. jogging is one of the best ways to really talk to God and refresh yourself of important things to plan for mostly goals like career, friendships, and important events.

I also walked home from near, not exactly at, my workplace again. And the Mariah carey song "I wanna know what love is" kept ringing in my mind....and what my ex colleagues were discussing about love yesterday. I agree, love is an action word. A verb.

But the bible has its own version of love. Love is patient, love is kind.....etc. But this love is built into one's character first. It looks like for us Christians, we have to actually store up/build up our love tank first. Then we can give to another.

So it now adds on to 1) Building love in our hearts first, receiving love from God. then 2) Giving to others through actions and deeds and words

Thursday, November 18, 2010

"Love", really?

Notice how the world especially the usa, ok it all started from the USA (oops no offence again), who used the words "LOVE" so easily...My colleague loves (oops used again) to tell us girl colleagues this: "You guys nowadays use the word "LOVE" so freely and easily, its as though, what - you think love DROPS on your lap or something? you fall IN and OUT of love?"
"You know what love really is?" he continued..
"Love is like those senior couples we meet on the streets at 60 or 70 years old, they're still holding hands.Or your parents fought the day before and the next day, your mom still wakes up at 5am to make tea for your dad. Like as though nothing happened."

Argh.....so we discussed 3 of us.....and we came to the conclusion that love is 1) a verb (actions) and 2) grows in a relationship and 3) is proven with time

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

plastic surgery

No, in case you're reading and wondering if i went or am ever considering this, the answer is NO. a firm no. I'm talking about issues, or things that really hit hard the human psyche, to the point that it changes your heart.Why do women even NEED plastic surgery, they are pretty the way they are with just some grooming of the hair and glasses and makeup and dressing. tip: look at magazines. Bring out the best

I would never imagine that reading KIDS books..would create a well of emotions in me about different people groups and people in other countries so much. Despite them being English books for kids, each book and illustration tells a story and brings out a moral so strong sometimes that I really weep.

I was really touched when i read about how black baseball players were not allowed on baseball teams in usa too. and finally this coach decided to make his stand and say "I just want a player that plays well. Don't care about his skin color" and advertised for a black player that would "have the courage of NOT FIGHTING BACK, no matter how he was treated."

Jackie, the guy who signed up for this post on the team, had to deal with so much ill treatment but he stuck to his promise, "to have the courage not to fight back". Indeed looking around and at myself, i realise it takes so much more COURAGE and i duno, gentleness and humility, not to fight back than fight back. Its always easier to fight back, to pull the trigger, to shove hurt back, to retaliate and the world teaches us better, "give them a taste of their own medicine". Proverbs talks about "Better a man who can control his anger than a man who can conquer cities".

And oh yes the end of the story was this: Jackie had to go through all the hardships at first in fitting in with the team. He STUCK to his promise: To have the courage to not fight back.

Then on one of his matches, the fans started to get angry when they saw a black player and threw their drinks at him. His teammate a white decided to stand up for him and took bold steps towards the middle of the field......and put his arm around Jackie, telling the crowd this. "Stop. Jackie is my FRIEND." The crowd was stunned.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Ultimate wisdom and the final authority

U know what? I realised you can read soooo many dozens and even tons of books from Christian writers, even christian writers. But nothing beats the Good Old Bible which IS still the final authority. Yes, final. U saw it, final.

Almost every step of life is already predicted with words of wisdom given there.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

avoiding any Mr Wrongs

Speaking on behalf of single ladies who are anything like me:
Examples of Mr Wrongs:
1) Emotionally unstable
2) Don't have an ongoing relationship with God
3) Have vices (smoking drinking gambling, etc)
4) Are different person at work, in real life, with family, friends
5) Not Honest
6) No love for others
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FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
by Dov Heller, M.A.

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the 1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; You need a lot more.

QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life. Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust i.e. trust that I won't get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. An abusive person is someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one.

QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? A good person Is "someone always striving to be good and do the right thing"? What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.

QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self's absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

* How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.
* How do they treat their parents and siblings?
* Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse.
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.

The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones don't appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and caring words or annotations.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye';

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self esteem make you blind to warning signs.

Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Writer's block (very lame post)

You know sometimes if you teach too much or if you have the occupation "hazard" of being a writer, journalist or teacher, you actually get writer's block in your own journals or blog because you have said everything you want to say already.

So here I am.....fumbling. I am just really glad thus far at least from start of the week till now the Lord has been really good to people around me and myself. And...he does put us through trials at times and even for myself....it was serious tiredness from running a job or work marathon. I have been working non stop in whatever job I have landed since January this year. There has been job switches and all but still the fact remains, I have not stopped working despite some of them giving very low pay only. But nonetheless the experience, whether friendships forged, or insightful conversations, character building and lessons learnt, has always been very valuable.

Maybe i should be wiser and choose high paying jobs but how can I go against my own conviction and "advice" to others and journals written.....and choose money or status (being in a big company) over passion and calling (what i like and do best).

As you read remember that i already said this would be a lame post where i'm writing
70% for the sake of writing. Now the book by C.S. Lewis I took so long to read last year though it was a thin book, seems more applicable.

Friday, November 5, 2010

but as for me....

I can't believe my moods can be this erratic sometimes. It's all circumstantial sometimes or rather, the word "memory based" which really should not be the case. At times like these i remember people in the bible who went through bad times.
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Forget it. It's not that i will stop bother what people say. I just will not TRY to please people....anymore. I have had it. I will just please God first and then if anything else or people choose to be pleased, then they will please themselves. if that is even possible. :s why are people so hard to please? you please one group and the other group doesn't like it. for-get-it. i will choose to trust in God, put my hope in His plans and let the rest of my life be at rest in His stability. Of course, I'd still put in my best in er.....the work or job i choose. and calling(s) i have which is what i'm trying to put my finger on in defining. some SDU club for singles, or some...non profit dating, meeting thingy. or some...social something. or kids hangout, or young adults community...

Suddenly This song was a great source of encouragement, a song from Psalty (the singing songbook). Reminds me of my childhood days running around bawling it out around the house but always wondering what it meant:

You gotta choose this day whom you're gonna serve
Choose this day whom you're gonna serve
But as for me and my house (we will serve Him)
As for me and my house (We will love Him)
As for me and my house
We will serve the Lord
Joshua 24 : 15
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Monday, November 1, 2010

Everything in life is about the person's focus. And things that matter to him/her/them at that moment/period in time. And reading "Women - God's secret weapon" by Ed Silvoso recently and ongoingly, i find that the Enemy, the devil likes to shift our focuses away from the right things. shift it away from what is good and of God.
It's either a sudden distraction or a slow and gradual sin or focus away from things of God.

It is God's intention to unite women to men. The gender fights and inequality and disparity has been ongoing too long.
I feel women should know their/our value in God's eyes for we were created from another human and not from dust direct. (heehee)