of all things

i hate to admit this but a secular song played on radio actually comforted me today.
i'm not feeling that great for what may seem to some, a very lame reason. no one, not even my best friend will believe me.....unless they are also eccentric. lolz.

it was some silly (pardon me) rock band those teeny bopper kind with electric guitars that went "loving you's (so sweet).......loving you.......loving you's (so sweet)......." repeatedly and i never liked repetitive songs. haha.....i might have got the lyrics totally wrong! oh well the tune was soo nice

sketchy plans of future

...i have so many stuff i wanna do, when i heard so many fresh ideas from people around. then again, i remind myself, these are ideas. not devaluing them, but i still have to seek Him about them.

- the jet program in japan (which is about teaching english),
- the whole 4 and half year teaching stint in s'pore (more or less no choice oredee),
- and maybe helping/teaching kids who are less fortunate

believe me,
Humanitarian trips are much more fulfilling than just travelling for the sake of it, TRY it! Don't forget, you get to know and bond with the people there more than just sightseeing.

Don't forget, there is a good problem of new friends whom i got to meet in the country another also all from different countries, the emails u can write to them n receive.....to encourage each other in the walk (the Walk we have with our Father who is not just in heaven but omnipresent).
Of course i am (and so should u) always be in need of The Book and The Walk to sustain, refresh and nourish my spirit and soul.

persistent hope

its cool how God brings people and even strangers to cross paths with you at work, at play, at anywhere, and you reach this point of bonding or friendship where you cant help but keep on praying for them, that one day they would also be in that same place you are, that they would join you, to be with the Lord, when all our physical bodies depart the earth.

reflections on the trip

the place
i was expecting eye opening life changing stuff like jungle survival even though only soldiers get that sort of training. well i got to see a simpler way of life and making do with whatever simple technologies they, the people had. it makes me think, dont singaporeans have too much that they get too complicated?


i thought i wouldn't be able to adapt to the hygiene but it worked out fine. though i was cringing at first.

I realised being so low tech has made me see the beauty of God's creation and feel so much closer to God and His work. I felt comforted gazing at the sloping hills of evergreens that seemed to touch the sky, to see the sky turn purple-orange at every sunset.

what we gave and served
now this is one big eye opener. i was actually amazed that we took 3 to 4 hours to plan one day's lesson for 5 classes (for kindergarten, Grade 1,2,4 and Packet class). and that was 5 of us in the team working together!!! can you imagine if it were just one person teaching - me? it would be much worse! i should be spending like what - 5 hours per day's lesson planning? arghhh it goes to show how lack of commitment and effort i have in my job compared to some others without the certs and degrees.besides the talents and creativity some people have, it was really the unselfish efforts of some of my teammates that made me wake up and ask myself,

"Am i giving only THIS little to God?"


The d-day (testimony)
that was day i worked my hardest and God showed me His power thru weakness and gave me strength to live the whole day and survive through the embarrassing testimony. i slept 3 hours the night before, being stressed about teaching the next day. and i didn't feel any one in my team contributed ideas to my lesson. which was frustrating and tiring. then i had to share my embarrassing testimony about my 14 yrs old experience to these 300 people! including missionaries from everywhere in the world who just met me. what if they saw me differently, just as i'm making friends with them? what if the kids think i'm weird and don't talk to me or be my friend any more? what if i was blacklisted as "lousy" "bad" weird" "different" and they couldn't accept me as I was?

but i don't know how or why, my whole team was SOOO encouraging. i was amazed that 3 people came up to me AFTER my sharing to thank me and encourage me that it was a good sharing. That some of them had the same experience too when they were younger. We had a long and open conversations sharing past experiences. That it took God and Jesus to heal the wound and walk beside them to get over the hurt.

being real

I am back, for good. lol
Back in my country that is. and yes i am still as real as before.
nothing will really change that (that i'm real and very honest).

1) i am happy i survived in a foresty area.
2) i am happy to meet different nationalities from different parts of the world coming together for a good cause and sharing their lives
3) i am touched by cute smiles, hugs, playfulness and hand-holding from little friends that i made at the orphanage
4) i am glad to have a chance to teach english and God's creation to them.
5) i am glad to be able to share my most serious testimony that took place 12 years ago to more than 100 people.
6) i am touched by others' open sharing about their hurt lives that have been changed, by Jesus.
7) i finally got a chance to be closer to God in nature.

prayer download

This Week, a team of six (2 guys, 4 ladies) joins at least

three other teams to work amongst Dayak tribal young people within the jungles of

West Kalimantan for a few days.

We will be serving the Living Waters project, which is World Outreach's largest

project in West Kalimantan and in Asia.

Living Waters began under miraculous circumstances in 2003, and has grown

into a very real living example of a miracle that does not respect human limitations

of what is considered possible.

The project’s vision is to house 1,000 tribal Dayak young people and educate 2,000 of

them, whom are among the poorest of Borneo.

Scary dream

scary dream last night can actually make me more encouraged than a sweet dream!
it was another one of those "must be from God kinda dreams" where i wake up remembering! and it was scary. not in the horror sense. i only remembered the ending part of it, so i guess it has to be from God.......because usually i don't remember any of my dreams.

i was in a train......then suddenly it got stuck......and there was some weird smoke.....and i was there frantically smelling the horrible smells and trying to escape and help others escape. it was soo tough getting to the other side.......and trying to pull people with me, to the escape door. the process seemed to take ages. then i saw one of the enemy (God's enemy) with a sinister grin.

then i awoke.

Immediately i knew it was God trying to tell me to remember the task of helping to save souls. "What is of more value than a person's soul?" The message seemed to ring clear.

i was like "whoa........i have kinda forgotten this past 3-4 weeks! I was so busy doing stuff, having schedules to meet, i totally forgot about helping to save souls and er, quiet time."

What will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?
Matt 16:26