than to live it yourself. and write about it.
Experience - the ups and downs of life indeed is a great teacher.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
read only if u're always curious.
what an intense weekend. first was avoiding frantically those type of celebrations at c.q. though enjoying like 20 min of the music. the moment i couldn't get in free into the club i was like "ok this is a sign that i am not supposed to take part in this event" to the rational mind, this would be like....."oh come on kim......does it make sense? you can just pay" but i was like "this is a good sign to just not attend a strange party like this. no matter how superficial its still a type of....(that type of celebration)" so your mind tries to think of all excuses to find a "no" somewhere...any sign will do.
then sunday i again attended my two and half services (usually 3). church.i realised in settings where there is praise and etc, there is always a chance of envy. but this is an emotion due to the ego and basically what is the ego - not really self esteem is it? its just plainly....the part of our "Bonus esteem" the part where is not as necessary as the esteem but just extra. (if have then have, don't have then don't have one) so anyway as long as the self esteem part of us is intact....that's a lot more important than the extra ego parts like getting heaps of praises and adulation. we all don't need too much praise to live this life.
love, the kind that the bible writes about.......gets happy for others or doesn't mind when others win or when others gain something. even if it minds when others gets something, it shouldn't mind to the point you forget what you have. (all the other blessings) if it reaches that point you know who down there has gained some kinda control in your life. and that could be scary....a bit (slight bit) of envy is good if it drives you to do the right things and be competitive in doing what's good and helpful for others and yourself but not to the point it becomes competition for the sake of competition, to win a prize for the sake of a prize, to win an argument for the sake of winning the other person, or to outwit a person, for the sake of outwitting them (To show 'hey i am better'..........because no one really bothers about who is better at the end of the day it is God who judges us all based on our heart and deeds and words). why do we want to live for people who come and go
but usually i don't really get envious as long as i get my attention diverted elsewhere or to other places. like friendships, other world causes, events, people, their problems....... :).of course use common sense and don't get attention at the expense of your health or safety. duh.....and mental well being. those are critical for whatever you do.
ok lunch after church was quite interesting and ok....i was super super touched when one of the older adults (Again can be my grandfather's age, super thin guy) just went forward and foot the bill quietly. he didnt brag about it even. despite each person's costing about 8-11 dollars per meal.there were like 11 of us so he paid like $90-$100?
but i think this emotion is okay as long as you know that God is always good and has been good to you.
also with favourites.......gee.......i really don't mind and don't care too much as long as the good Lord knows what I need. He doesnt always give us what we want. but what we need, will He not give?
then sunday i again attended my two and half services (usually 3). church.i realised in settings where there is praise and etc, there is always a chance of envy. but this is an emotion due to the ego and basically what is the ego - not really self esteem is it? its just plainly....the part of our "Bonus esteem" the part where is not as necessary as the esteem but just extra. (if have then have, don't have then don't have one) so anyway as long as the self esteem part of us is intact....that's a lot more important than the extra ego parts like getting heaps of praises and adulation. we all don't need too much praise to live this life.
love, the kind that the bible writes about.......gets happy for others or doesn't mind when others win or when others gain something. even if it minds when others gets something, it shouldn't mind to the point you forget what you have. (all the other blessings) if it reaches that point you know who down there has gained some kinda control in your life. and that could be scary....a bit (slight bit) of envy is good if it drives you to do the right things and be competitive in doing what's good and helpful for others and yourself but not to the point it becomes competition for the sake of competition, to win a prize for the sake of a prize, to win an argument for the sake of winning the other person, or to outwit a person, for the sake of outwitting them (To show 'hey i am better'..........because no one really bothers about who is better at the end of the day it is God who judges us all based on our heart and deeds and words). why do we want to live for people who come and go
but usually i don't really get envious as long as i get my attention diverted elsewhere or to other places. like friendships, other world causes, events, people, their problems....... :).of course use common sense and don't get attention at the expense of your health or safety. duh.....and mental well being. those are critical for whatever you do.
ok lunch after church was quite interesting and ok....i was super super touched when one of the older adults (Again can be my grandfather's age, super thin guy) just went forward and foot the bill quietly. he didnt brag about it even. despite each person's costing about 8-11 dollars per meal.there were like 11 of us so he paid like $90-$100?
but i think this emotion is okay as long as you know that God is always good and has been good to you.
also with favourites.......gee.......i really don't mind and don't care too much as long as the good Lord knows what I need. He doesnt always give us what we want. but what we need, will He not give?
Friday, October 25, 2013
how to tell if the guy's really interested
1. He goes out of his way to talk to you, and always responds in a timely manner to your messages, calls, or texts.
2. He doesn’t do that weird disappearing act where he’s just suddenly unavailable and disinterested in seeing you, and doesn’t explain himself at all until the next time he decides he wants to see you.
3. He actually proposes things for the two of you to do
4. His whole demeanor improves noticeably when you’re around — if he’s usually a little on the bro-y side with his friends, he tones down his stupid humor and actually tries to make a good impression with you.
5. You get the impression right off the bat that he wants to make you a part of his group. You never feel like you’re pushing when you are around his friends or present during his daily activities.
6. He “likes” a lot of your stuff on Facebook, especially things from a long enough time ago that he had to go looking for it.
7. Your friends get a good vibe off of him, and never have to give you that speech about how “we just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
9. His compliments are sincere and based on who you are as an individual, not just generic stuff about how pretty you are that anyone can say to anyone without really knowing them.
10. You catch him just looking at you, every now and again, during moments when he thinks you won’t notice — usually during the “boring” moments, like watching a movie together or just lying in bed.
11. He always makes an effort to be closer to you when you’re together, touching your shoulder or your hip, showing little signs of affection no matter what you’re doing.
12. He laughs at your jokes with the kind of throw-your-head-back belly laugh that only comes when you are really happy to be with someone. And he makes you laugh because you are so often on the same wavelength without even having to say a word.
13. He’s not afraid of a little PDA — he loves holding hands while walking down the street, and never makes you feel like he’s trying to push you to the side.
14. He looks for excuses to talk to you, to see you, to be closer to you, and to get to know more about you. And even though you know he intentionally forgot something at your apartment just so he could go back and get it, you play along because you don’t want to ruin the game.
15. Everything feels exciting when you’re together because you’re both so clearly interested and involved with whatever you’re doing. Just going out to dinner together feels like being on an amusement park ride.
16. He talks to his friends about you when you’re not there, and sometimes they’ll even tell you the great things he’s said.
17. He’s not afraid to do things that might typically be considered feminine or weak around you, and can’t help but be a fully-rounded human when you’re together because you make him feel like he can finally be himself.
18. He’s honest with you about his past, and what he’s looking for.
19. You never have to play that obnoxious/sometimes-attractive “hard-to-get” game where you’re never sure if you’re actually together or you’re just “seeing each other.” You know where you stand with him, and you don’t have to risk making a fool of yourself, because he’s not afraid to make the effort and the commitment to starting something real. With him, you can just tell.
haha.......that guy has ten of which i highlighted on my list. hm......
2. He doesn’t do that weird disappearing act where he’s just suddenly unavailable and disinterested in seeing you, and doesn’t explain himself at all until the next time he decides he wants to see you.
3. He actually proposes things for the two of you to do
4. His whole demeanor improves noticeably when you’re around — if he’s usually a little on the bro-y side with his friends, he tones down his stupid humor and actually tries to make a good impression with you.
5. You get the impression right off the bat that he wants to make you a part of his group. You never feel like you’re pushing when you are around his friends or present during his daily activities.
6. He “likes” a lot of your stuff on Facebook, especially things from a long enough time ago that he had to go looking for it.
7. Your friends get a good vibe off of him, and never have to give you that speech about how “we just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
9. His compliments are sincere and based on who you are as an individual, not just generic stuff about how pretty you are that anyone can say to anyone without really knowing them.
10. You catch him just looking at you, every now and again, during moments when he thinks you won’t notice — usually during the “boring” moments, like watching a movie together or just lying in bed.
11. He always makes an effort to be closer to you when you’re together, touching your shoulder or your hip, showing little signs of affection no matter what you’re doing.
12. He laughs at your jokes with the kind of throw-your-head-back belly laugh that only comes when you are really happy to be with someone. And he makes you laugh because you are so often on the same wavelength without even having to say a word.
13. He’s not afraid of a little PDA — he loves holding hands while walking down the street, and never makes you feel like he’s trying to push you to the side.
14. He looks for excuses to talk to you, to see you, to be closer to you, and to get to know more about you. And even though you know he intentionally forgot something at your apartment just so he could go back and get it, you play along because you don’t want to ruin the game.
15. Everything feels exciting when you’re together because you’re both so clearly interested and involved with whatever you’re doing. Just going out to dinner together feels like being on an amusement park ride.
16. He talks to his friends about you when you’re not there, and sometimes they’ll even tell you the great things he’s said.
17. He’s not afraid to do things that might typically be considered feminine or weak around you, and can’t help but be a fully-rounded human when you’re together because you make him feel like he can finally be himself.
18. He’s honest with you about his past, and what he’s looking for.
19. You never have to play that obnoxious/sometimes-attractive “hard-to-get” game where you’re never sure if you’re actually together or you’re just “seeing each other.” You know where you stand with him, and you don’t have to risk making a fool of yourself, because he’s not afraid to make the effort and the commitment to starting something real. With him, you can just tell.
haha.......that guy has ten of which i highlighted on my list. hm......
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
all in a day's work
this is hilarious.....i managed to talk to a colleague yesterday until we both were at our top volumes.
nope
we were not angry with each other. not at all.
yes
we were passionate about our own views on things. that's why.
these kind of intellectual discussions that get a bit louder but can be good for the soul sometimes. not all 8-9 hours of work time of course.:) glad and super thankful for such colleagues! !
nope
we were not angry with each other. not at all.
yes
we were passionate about our own views on things. that's why.
these kind of intellectual discussions that get a bit louder but can be good for the soul sometimes. not all 8-9 hours of work time of course.:) glad and super thankful for such colleagues! !
Thursday, October 17, 2013
i get complimented
when i least expect it.
Let me write a list of everything that i have not expected (good stuff) that i received....
1) Gravity was a good show (but i thought it would be lousy since its.........in space) and it was worth all 11 bucks of my Public Hol ticket done by an actress who is usually typecast into chick-flick shows....this was more insghtful
2) A senior (guy) quite good looking (but way too old for me.......can be granddad) said i was "not like you at all (the bitchy type)" when i told him i was trying to be bitchy to people who are mean. i am a bit happy abt it.....just don't cross my limit(s).
3) had an insightful conversation with a lady about life and marrige and kids - she has many yrs experience (not that i am marrying or having a kid any time soon)
4) surprise dream about going on a trip to somewhere luxurious and meeting some guy and he was serious about asking me........but before i could answer him i woke up.......(i was 45% interested only maybe that's why i woke)
Moral of the story is........ah........don't keep on hoping for good things to happen and get fixated on that. but make the most of what is given to you in life......anything good that comes your way, say thank you to the one who gave you everything u have.
Let me write a list of everything that i have not expected (good stuff) that i received....
1) Gravity was a good show (but i thought it would be lousy since its.........in space) and it was worth all 11 bucks of my Public Hol ticket done by an actress who is usually typecast into chick-flick shows....this was more insghtful
2) A senior (guy) quite good looking (but way too old for me.......can be granddad) said i was "not like you at all (the bitchy type)" when i told him i was trying to be bitchy to people who are mean. i am a bit happy abt it.....just don't cross my limit(s).
3) had an insightful conversation with a lady about life and marrige and kids - she has many yrs experience (not that i am marrying or having a kid any time soon)
4) surprise dream about going on a trip to somewhere luxurious and meeting some guy and he was serious about asking me........but before i could answer him i woke up.......(i was 45% interested only maybe that's why i woke)
Moral of the story is........ah........don't keep on hoping for good things to happen and get fixated on that. but make the most of what is given to you in life......anything good that comes your way, say thank you to the one who gave you everything u have.
Monday, October 14, 2013
learning thru my least favourite activity
karaoke.
i actually do not really like ktv or kareok (american version) or karaoke (singaporean version)....
i don't hate it but i don't love it and not that fond of it......unless it really has crazy pop or rock or fast songs. i am not a fan of slow sentimental songs for karaoke for some reason (which i duno still trying to think why).
oh i do not love singing because i had 3 years of singing in the choir in sec school. choir people and friends were amazing and i made so many unexpected friends and had good times thru getting scolded by our choir teacher and teasing each other and making fun of teachers behind their backs hahaha.
but i was always deep down more interested in sports or even dance. So anyway......
despite my dislike of ktv last week i had two sessions and i went because it was for the sake of company or friends. and it was cheap......like one wasp paid for. the other was about $14. i had a lot of fun despite having 1) some nasal problems 2) songs i didnt understand in thai, cantonese and some chinese songs (some only not all)
the best part was LEARNING new songs and new messages from good singers......like The Fray.....i really liked one of their songs. the message behind it rather....though sad.....about some friend whose life he could have saved....if he had known how to save.....and some music videos were good......not just about promoting parts....of the anatomy.... :)
i actually do not really like ktv or kareok (american version) or karaoke (singaporean version)....
i don't hate it but i don't love it and not that fond of it......unless it really has crazy pop or rock or fast songs. i am not a fan of slow sentimental songs for karaoke for some reason (which i duno still trying to think why).
oh i do not love singing because i had 3 years of singing in the choir in sec school. choir people and friends were amazing and i made so many unexpected friends and had good times thru getting scolded by our choir teacher and teasing each other and making fun of teachers behind their backs hahaha.
but i was always deep down more interested in sports or even dance. So anyway......
despite my dislike of ktv last week i had two sessions and i went because it was for the sake of company or friends. and it was cheap......like one wasp paid for. the other was about $14. i had a lot of fun despite having 1) some nasal problems 2) songs i didnt understand in thai, cantonese and some chinese songs (some only not all)
the best part was LEARNING new songs and new messages from good singers......like The Fray.....i really liked one of their songs. the message behind it rather....though sad.....about some friend whose life he could have saved....if he had known how to save.....and some music videos were good......not just about promoting parts....of the anatomy.... :)
Thursday, October 3, 2013
(Closed doors) i am lost when it comes to....
Economics and investments and equities.i only passed ONE economics paper in junior college.
that was for my final cambridge "A" level exams where i got a 'D' after all the 'O's and "E"s my whole two years of junior college. O is a grade just above F. Lol. I have absolutely nothing to boast about here........except from being top from the bottom.
Yes i could have felt like a failure and i could have been angry. Envious or angry that everyone else did better than me.
But on hindsight, it was simply a closed door. i was also upset i couldn't get into Arts, Architecture, Law, even Teaching! all my top 5 choices. gone......
But it turns out God has His ways. AND his perfect plan for each of us.
closed doors is actually a blessing.
And i was much HAPPIER and USEFUL in Engineering though the modules were slightly boring.
that was for my final cambridge "A" level exams where i got a 'D' after all the 'O's and "E"s my whole two years of junior college. O is a grade just above F. Lol. I have absolutely nothing to boast about here........except from being top from the bottom.
Yes i could have felt like a failure and i could have been angry. Envious or angry that everyone else did better than me.
But on hindsight, it was simply a closed door. i was also upset i couldn't get into Arts, Architecture, Law, even Teaching! all my top 5 choices. gone......
But it turns out God has His ways. AND his perfect plan for each of us.
closed doors is actually a blessing.
And i was much HAPPIER and USEFUL in Engineering though the modules were slightly boring.
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