in the dark of the night

The Word really spoke to me yesterday when i was just so desperate and hungry from physical lack of rest and because i have been thinking too much. but thinking is good. not over thinking. then i realised when i was a kid "7 days without the bible makes one WEAK" the Onomatopia (or onometopia) or pun on the "week" word. So i knew i needed the bible.

yes books do give us fresh ways of looking at things but the actual word itself i think is more direct and God-breathed. so i actually forgo-ed the whole after-work-must-meet-some-friends thing and went straight home to read.

Every page i stumbled upon was what I NEEDED to read. the amazing part was it came from of all books, Ecclesiastes! I mean hello i read that on the way to KL zonal camp last year on the bus. I realised only one truth sank in that time. it was "I realised at the end of my life all toil is meaningless". can u believe it? that was the only truth that sank in that time.

This time round however, more and more truths sprang out to me. Every single verse had an APPLICATION to the circumstances and emotions i was going through yesterday. EVERY SINGLE verse and i anyhow (which means didn't really care, listlessly) flipped to a chapter. And oh man. It was soooo precise. Let me tell you, if you are HUNGRY for Him and what He has to say, His Holy Spirit will be right there and even give you the wrong book ( i didn't intend to read ecclesiastes) with the right words u need to hear.

food we desperately need

i had a BAD saturday night. i had lack of sleep the night before, 5 hours of work the next day plus tuition and there was this girl pal of mine screaming for attention. and when i met her up at orchard road, told her my story and then she started scolding n judging me.

i will not tell her anything anymore to avoid being scolded. so......here i am clinging for the gracious truths in the bible that was spoken justly by God himself. You don't need to listen to advice that are spoken out of the person's own personal unresolved issues. (that's nothing to do with you at all). Seriously, deal with your own emotions and hurt first. And the best way to advice anyone is through your own example.

And as a result of being freaked out by her the night before, i missed church on sunday (but she's not in my church) and here i am writing out all these bible verses so i can go through my week.

fear not for i have redeemed you and called you by your name, you are mine. when you pass through the waters i will be with you, and through the rivers they will not overwhelm you. when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned nor scorched nor will the flame kindle upon you.
isaiah 43:1-2

“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” - 1 Peter 1:18-19

For we walk by faith and not by sight or appearance. 2 Cor 5:7

For i am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers nr height nor depth nor anything else in all creation will be able to seaparate us from the love of God which is in Jesus christ our Lord.
Romans 8:38

an interesting post (warning: bgr ahead)

I had a very interesting week. And today i heard from one of the brothers in Christ that it's a turn off or rather "Girls these days like to initiate dates and relationships". He seemed really turned off by this fact.

Food for thought: if we girls never did anything, no smiles, no eye contact (We kept looking at our book or at the floor) no laughter, no kind gestures, no hints, would you all want or dare to do anything at all???

I think, for bgr (boy girl relationships) books and countless of them have been written all with expert PhD holders of psychology degrees, sociology degrees etc. However those are but opinions of man, influenced by the many experiences they've had, the sharings of others' experiences and even religious beliefs. my conclusion is this: we have to still LET GOD WRITE OUR OWN LOVE STORY.

We cannot base our own story on other's life stories!! Even if the person were almost similar in background and upbringing to yourself, your cousin, your sibling, your best friend, your neighbour, your church mate, your schoolmate, you cannot cannot think that the WAY you meet your future partner will be even SIMILAR to the way you meet yours.

And this is just the meeting the person part. the whole story and how it unfolds HAS to be LED BY GOD every single (pun intended) step of the way. You have to be led by the Holy spirit. If the Holy Spirit tells the GIRL/WOMAN to initiate certain things, she HAS TO. (take a look at REBECCA and Isaac in the bible). Of course if nothing happens after she initiates something, then it was not meant to be. lol.

So this is just the prayer part. the whole joy and beauty of it is really in the anticipation of the whole story unravelling. Sometimes God hides the person (not literally) but so you don't know WHO he or she is till the time is right. Why? because....he was preparing both of you or one of you. Or there were a lot of things both of you needed to do FOR HIM or FOR OThERS before you met.

(btw, i cant believe i used my whole brain these few days thinking about this - about 2-3 days)

And so the whole mystery of it all really makes me lie back, smile, float on the open sea, gaze at the sky, smile, while i trust that He watches our backs.

grace AND truth

reaching the point where work becomes work...*nervous laughter*. no more holiday.. ok now its the real thing and back to going through the tough parts of work. and the only way is through the whole debris literally. u cant escape from life's work and pain that comes together. so.....let's all face it (the painful parts of life). but of course there is always the encouraging word. ;) :)

I feel that there has to be always a good mix and balance of grace and truth in every thing we do. It cannot be ALL truth and then there's no grace. People die from suffocation and control and anxiety attacks and fatigue and no morale.

However being too nice and gracious will lead to complacency, over-high expectations that cannot be fulfilled, and false hope and unfulfilled promises. And people feel like weaklings as they don't step up to their true potential and GROW....

So the best would to have in any community and workplace, a good measure of BOTH. and to know where to apply each.

to the east, to the east

Hello, this is soo cool. i actually get to be all the way in the EAST. hehehehe. and this new place brings tons of newfound energy, life and renewed hope and purpose. I don't know i guess there is much more space here.
i haven't moved, i actually am working at new site which is our lovely plane place. each day counts so much. oh but yah i really should quit bragging. it aint my intention to brag. and i'll only be here for like 1 mth plus anyway. i'm gonna make each day count.

spirit food.....u cant go 3 days without it

1 I will sing of your love and justice;
to you, LORD, I will sing praise.
2 I will be careful to lead a blameless life—
when will you come to me?
psalm 101

1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, my soul.
Psalm 103