why and how i came to this decision

Ok just for information, i did not roll my eyes in sarcasm in the previous post...for whoever read it. I was just amused by this scene in the step up movie.
I've again, been reading Charles Swindoll's book "Mystery of God's will" and....to confirm some other famous writers' standpoint, indeed, the moulding of godly character is much more important to God than just being comfortable.
Also u realise in any big God-situations which is nnot man made, His ways are higher much higher than our ways.
The only reason why we are still sticking to our ways is cos we don't understand a BIG God's ways so we think "Its impossible"

In the stories of Noah, who would think there was a need for an ark, when the weather was good? In the case of Jonah, Who would want to Adapt to people ridden with prejudice to your kind? Let alone Preach to them? In the case of Moses, to face a scorching desert for 40 years? In the case of Joseph, to be hated by your own brothers and nearly killed by them, then in jail for many years. In the case of Hosea, marry a spouse who will be unfaithful to you not just once but 3 times. In the case of Job, having boils and lost of loved ones for months. In the case of the disciples, leave their big fish business to be a follower of Jesus. In the case of Mary, called to face the stigma of a growing belly and shotgun marriage. In the case of Esther, to marry a gentile ruler. In the case of David, to constantly run away from a king who tried to kill him though God said "U will be the next ruler". Chilly plans eh.

Also, a God-plan will never be as small or natural or easy or it would be called a man-plan. That's where He gets the glory, that's where we can see his Hand in it.

un-online mode

Roll eyes...roll eyes. (i loved that movie Step up 4 or 3....where this scene at the ballroom dance, the 2 guys delayed the queue and the girl behind them got so irritated she rolled her eyes 3 or 4 times!)

Finally if you have been waiting for me to shut up online, i have been given the greatest opportunity to do so this period of my life. The Lord has been challenging me all the time these few days/weeks even to stretch my faith and trust and perseverance. :)

processing of career

Proverbs 3:18
She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.
Romans 5:3
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
James 1:4
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
2 Peter 1:6
6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;
John 18:36
Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place."
2 Peter 1
10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Matthew 21:32
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you"
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Deuteronomy 15:4
However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you
Deuteronomy 15:7
If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother.
Psalm 68:10
Your people settled in it, and from your bounty, O God, you provided for the poor.
Proverbs 31:9
Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."
Isaiah 61:1
[ The Year of the LORD's Favor ] The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

when he speaketh

Ok so...i was kinda moping in the train (not mopping, Moping, there is such a word) about what to do and asking You for various signs and directions as to what to do next. then one by one they came!
First was right in front of my nose! my bag! that said "Never give up" was in fine print on the logo side all the time but i never noticed it. Next was the radio. Yuppers. While sitting in the boss's car, on site visits, it went "Successful people never quit...." So I was like....Whoa ok.
Next, was some chinese song on the radio! Chinese channel. I don't and never did understand chinese so well but guess what, the melody and rythm the song and just ONE phrase which i caught was "Yi2 bu4 yi2 bu4 something like that" so.....that ties in with every other bearings i caught today. It seems.....
So confidently i said "No" to the other interview today. which was a bit of a heartache. Saying no sucks. oh man.......what do i do now?

when a lot of happenings are announced to u suddenly

Sometimes, process is really good.
Process allows you to take time to think and prepare for the next step and better still, the outcome of things.

Process is a lot better than being there only at the announcement or outcome.

So when God throws you a process, or something you have to work on, or seek Him hard for, or pray for, TAKE IT. because you don't want to cry in surprise (that's only if it's good) or shock (when its not so good) when the outcome is decided already.

after "retreat" which was more like outreach

There is always a big diff between retreat and outreaching. Sometimes a trip marries the two, which makes one kind of confused but worked, full (eating a lot) and yet fulfilled (as you gave out). I do wish all of us had more recreational time or more things to do to play. But on a kelong built on stilts literally, there is hardly enough land to run around.

Haha. I enjoyed visiting the people there to sow seeds of kindness. working with my teammates was fun and watching them help the kids in the games, now that was funny. some of us don't know how to make paper air planes! we gave mosquito repellent to them, rice, food, snacks and bubble making toys to them. The kids will MAKE you love them. seriously, even if u didn't like kids at first.

the best part was talking and getting to pray for village folks who were CHINESE. yes on Jemara island, Indonesia! The chinese were the ones who started business and trade there. Entrepot trade, how familliar, by buying fish from all the indo fishermen then selling them abroad to other islands! which reminded me of early national days.

yea we sowed seeds to more than 6 families, two of which were chinese. I learnt the importance of SOWing seeds of kindness first, without expectations of any opportunity to share the gospel or even, praying. Because that's where people connect with you on a normal level first. If they cant like the messenger, why would they listen to the message?

So the best part was the last family we visited which was super open to telling us their story. Listening does the trick. So we listened to their amazing Teochew stories about their problems and adventures in life till they asked us to pray for them. "Just a blessing is good" they said. In the end we took pictures with them too.

our ferry reached the port at promptly 810pm which was time for the pledge. hahaha.

then i realised that our team was very fun and took care of others.
those who were healthy were always on the look out for others - those who were sick, and offered to run errands for them. those who were good swimmers watched out for lousy swimmers (like me).

I was involved in some bernoulli effect near the fishing raft at the front of the kelong which made me not so able to swim out from that area back to main sea and was tempted to go through all the stilts following the current but apparently i heard that might have gotten me lots of surface cuts (I doubt it was life threatening seriously!). But there was one or two of them onlookers panicking over nothing. (They haven't seen australian waves that i went through with God's help and survived) But the current made it pretty hard to swim back to where we were so thank God one of my friends pulled me away from that area.

I really enjoyed the atmosphere of inclusiveness where everyone joined in the card games like snap. and the fun and jokes during the meal.

I did learn though that sometimes i should be aware of golden opportunities when people do approach me or offer me something. And not grumbling after, when they pass me by. Glad i managed to resolve a misunderstanding with one of the sisters there when she pointed this out to me. (Something about seashells).

Everyone was pretty honest and direct to each other throughout preparation and during the trip so it was a good time of getting to know each other better as a cell.

Timelines at work

Literally facing some "rushful" timelines at work now for last week, this week and the next few weeks. heh. Argh. Finally eh? I prefer it this way as we're all more focussed about the work than just PRing (Public relations, as in talking to each other etc).

Ok. Then this weekend my cell group will go to a village next door, to visit kids. I hope we teach them to stay innocent. Nowadays, kids can learn so much wrong things in a short span of time.

I'm praying about quite important things now. Like work mostly. Hmm....and still reading Philip Yancey's book. Each day i uncover new nice things there. The Lord is challenging me on 2 things this week. They call it 2 spiritual tests right? Hmm....more on the first one. Which can be very tough to handle.

wrong timings

I HATE wrong timings. They spoil every thing! (trying to mimic some little kid i met before)

Ok sighh.....i don't really know who reads this, but ok whoever bothers to read, thank you! This week was seriously up and down. the downs were good because they helped built up more character, though of course it was very tough. the ups were, few and far between but still i thank you God for those nicer moments where i could be myself and go the places i liked.

you wont believe the stupidest circumstances i was in today that was really irritating but whatever it is, i refuse to let this be a stumbling block in my life. I can say no to this stopping me from fulfiling my purposes for God and In God.

The next question i have is this: can we ever be too holy to be of no earthly use?

Since i wont be in sg this coming weekend, my prayer is a bit self centred in that i hope to be actually sent out from my country, not defected, but happily sent out from my country to build houses or toilets or churches for other countries, any other country. not that i don't want to stay here..there are so many people groups out there i wanna meet. how exciting!