reflections on the trip

the place
i was expecting eye opening life changing stuff like jungle survival even though only soldiers get that sort of training. well i got to see a simpler way of life and making do with whatever simple technologies they, the people had. it makes me think, dont singaporeans have too much that they get too complicated?


i thought i wouldn't be able to adapt to the hygiene but it worked out fine. though i was cringing at first.

I realised being so low tech has made me see the beauty of God's creation and feel so much closer to God and His work. I felt comforted gazing at the sloping hills of evergreens that seemed to touch the sky, to see the sky turn purple-orange at every sunset.

what we gave and served
now this is one big eye opener. i was actually amazed that we took 3 to 4 hours to plan one day's lesson for 5 classes (for kindergarten, Grade 1,2,4 and Packet class). and that was 5 of us in the team working together!!! can you imagine if it were just one person teaching - me? it would be much worse! i should be spending like what - 5 hours per day's lesson planning? arghhh it goes to show how lack of commitment and effort i have in my job compared to some others without the certs and degrees.besides the talents and creativity some people have, it was really the unselfish efforts of some of my teammates that made me wake up and ask myself,

"Am i giving only THIS little to God?"


The d-day (testimony)
that was day i worked my hardest and God showed me His power thru weakness and gave me strength to live the whole day and survive through the embarrassing testimony. i slept 3 hours the night before, being stressed about teaching the next day. and i didn't feel any one in my team contributed ideas to my lesson. which was frustrating and tiring. then i had to share my embarrassing testimony about my 14 yrs old experience to these 300 people! including missionaries from everywhere in the world who just met me. what if they saw me differently, just as i'm making friends with them? what if the kids think i'm weird and don't talk to me or be my friend any more? what if i was blacklisted as "lousy" "bad" weird" "different" and they couldn't accept me as I was?

but i don't know how or why, my whole team was SOOO encouraging. i was amazed that 3 people came up to me AFTER my sharing to thank me and encourage me that it was a good sharing. That some of them had the same experience too when they were younger. We had a long and open conversations sharing past experiences. That it took God and Jesus to heal the wound and walk beside them to get over the hurt.