hearing His voice

wah i should be ever so flattered.
==================================

Anyhow, really back to God's will and all. Things that spoke to me from the book...Hearing God's voice by Henry Blackaby...again.

1) there's a difference between perceived needs and real needs man may have.
Which means, what u think u need, God may think, "No, you don't need it" or
"I want you to struggle for a while first". Many examples in the bible in Chronicles
and Kings on this.

2) when your will too far off from God's will, that's where, the prayer
is not answered.

3) When prayer is meant to make u learn who God is even more. (an example of people who are spiritual and right before God praying for their loved one to return to health but he/she wont because simply God wants them to release him/her to Him. And they had to learn to trust that He would care for their loved one in his own divine way)

4) Accepting God's "No" is a mark of faith and trust and maturity.

5) Yiyi, Matt, Jane (3 gals) at Grace T's wedding today happened to mention
the same thing which was "Trust God" and "Wait for your job to arrive......" which
is really really....probably the hardest thing for me to do. In all aspects of life.
Waiting. I prob have to wait a few more months for my next stable job.
or maybe even longer!!....but anyhow....i would rather have my life in the best/most perfect will of God.

6) Unconfessed sin makes our prayers useless.

7) Lack of faith renders prayers useless.

childlike faith

sometimes it just boils down to childlike FAITH

i could pray forever and chant like a meaningless gong.
or i could utter but one sentence, mean it,
with all the smallest simplest childlike faith i know
let the prayer go.....
trusting the Father will be pleased
even with my littlest faith.

$$ lost and compensated!

resolve, reconcile, restore.....relieved!

i'm thankful and very relieved to say that whew, the previous post's misunderstanding thing was resolved the very next day of musical production. its definitely due to prayers we had as a group....before, during and after each rehearsals and performances.

and the money stolen was anonymously returned to the both of us. not by the person who took it at first but by someone else who was blessed to be a blessing. :)

angst

majorly frustrated

if there is such a word. dun feel like elaborating. but this is what i want to say to the person(s) today whom i met and he/she can see it from my face: "look don't give me this **** thing ok. don't think i was never in a girls' school before and don't know how to deal with girls like you."

but i didn't tell her.....i could have been wrong, u see. thats why i feel frustrated. its this inner conflict wrestling in me.....either one of us could be wrong....or both.

i lost my $$$. don't want to accuse or think wrongly of people but this is too much and i aint the only one losing the money. one other performer lost $200!!! way more than me.

in quietness or in chattiness?

gee, this is soo weird! i have listening bouts and chatting bouts and sometimes, neither of these. what i mean is sometimes i just wanna listen not talk. i suspect its more like a girl or a woman gotta talk her 5000 words a day quota. that's according to the author of 'men are from mars, women from venus'. lol.

but i really could have given a pat on my back today for risking getting disappointed or scolded today by running an errand for my parents. I went to that place alone!! whew! it went successfully because....

over the past 2 months i avoided doing this good deed for them, and prayed a lot for it as a result to make up for it. and now i guess u can never see how the Holy spirit works in people. so.....today came the results. woo hoo.

i can't emphasise enough how important prayer is before a competition, before anything crucial, exams, etc etc.

and the ministry of reconciliation and restoration is the central theme of the christian life. why is it never easy working at it.....reconciliation?

debate between grace and the law

Looking at scripture on these

Galatians 2:21 "I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"

Galatians 3:18 For if the inheritance depends on the law, then it no longer depends on a promise; but God in his grace gave it to Abraham through a promise.

John 1:11 "He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12Yet to ALL who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God"
John 1:17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Romans 4:16 Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham's offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all.

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

James 5:16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

my question: would you rather have a life with lawlessness, or with law? (Seriously ponder on this)

the doulos ship.

this christian ship was parked at harbour front for 3 days for public viewing. well its bascially a ship with a bookstore inside. selling kids books and christian books. its sister ship is the Logos. on board the ship serving are the crew who are from various nations. who are on the ship to serve one another and also send out the literature to each country they stop at and to meet the countrymen of each country....and give out tracts.....i'm sure they have a lot more activities than i can list....but it was a gorgeous sight. with the bonus of an all-international cast, or rather, crew. to stay on it for 3 months to serve would cost S$2000 approx.

somtimes i wonder, is it better to have a boring but predictable life or an exciting but limitless and crazy one?

pain

Pain.

Two incidences of physical pain these two weeks woke me up to realise the importance of sincere prayer.
The first was last tues when food poisoning or diarrhoea came with bad cramps ( the girl thing). I was slouched or doubled over on my chair at work, face probably white....and the only thing i could do on the way home (when working hours were not over) was go "God...help." "God, please take away the pain....help."

Then it struck me. The most heartfelt sincere prayers come from our souls or spirits when we're in the most pain or disorientation. That's the kind that we mean with all our hearts. Shouldn't we take that same desperation and sincereness to our daily prayer life?

The second incident of pain was today. I had this strange flu virus or rather, muscle cramp virus that seemed to ache and poke every single muscle i had (arms, legs, belly, neck, shoulders etc etc). And the weird part was there was no sore throat or food poisoning. so why this ache? And the worst part was, i had to take my friend to a Thanksgiving dinner for her to hear God's love. Plus i had to go to work, walk around work place, go home to take a rest, go to bouna vista for interview, go to work place, then bring her to bt batok. tons of walking, at my worst state.

i thot i was gonna faint or sth. i told the lord, " you can't let me go now....i have to bring someone there today." And....well.....i reached the feast, still aching and tired and sick. everyone ate well and i couldn't!! But the strange and awesome thing was, after all the sharing, the song and the testimony by someone, the aches almost all left me. the only mild one left was the leg muscle ones (the usual). hmm....He is amazing!

learning day

what a learning day even though it was just doing minutes and minutes

Wow, Minutes of a Meeting (aka MOM) aren't easy to do either. especially when u had no clue whatsoever of the train of meetings way months or even one full year before you came into a company. but getting to hear two sides (or more) kinda debate things out on a professional level...but i really think of people in my generation and i go....hmm.....sometimes i wish we'd been thru more.

Haha, and it took more than improvisation like in a drama. Sometimes the best lines come out when you're improvising on an act. Take for instance yesterday at rehearsal. there was this actor who suddenly came up with his own biblical version (or pastorly version) of life. Which were lines that spoke to my current condition or state of mind in life. And boy, were those lines relevant! Can't say them online (or it would spoil the show...come watch it yourself!!) but a hint would be,

It relates to one of my recent prayers made within this month. Not the Jabez prayer.

A prayer which applies to all aspects of life, not one aspect.

That's what i call a "God-word."

Btw, what's a gal to do while she's single?? plenty. basically, it's not as the world says we should be or do. (we gotta see if it's in line with the word, always test the spirit, discern) but the most important thing i feel, is to Grasp what we have now in this season or this season will be over in no time. :P

i'm human.....and thank God for God being God.