so anyway this live journal or blog aint just really for me to think aloud its to kinda yea ok think aloud because when things are verbalised in words they are less serious than they are if not verbalised. and it gets things analysed more quickly, it facilitates honesty, it brings about clarity (which by the way is one of my favourite songs since i started listening to techno), it keeps a record of some form whatever informal form this is.
but i really have to write my impactful encounter that day. the epic of the lost wallet.

Sometimes He really does work thru emotions. No i thought it was all about the mind and thoughts and rational. Not quite. The heart is important too. More important, that's why it is written Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of Life. It really is.

I was going for an interview that saturday in that ulu ulu place. I hate adapting to new workplaces by the way if you know me because....it is simply troublesome and getting to that new place, you have to search maps etc and call the person in charge. so I finally reached the place late and had a sarcastic interview (well the questions were sarcastic) and maybe that's part of the process no offence to the interviewer. But she laughed in the end so was that counted as an "ok"?

The worst part was the whole previous night experience at some "new club" which was super nice but a bit small and i shouldn't have taken 2 drinks. seriously. but i did. and slept late because i was just praying about what decision to make the next day. so being alchohol intolerant and i did two glasses...i was a zombie the next day. half of it anyway.

so after the slightly sarcastic interview and the ulu place where there are hardly anyone around seriously.....i was mulling about whether to cross that bridge......then i backed out because i saw this girl below the bridge walking hapily but i just felt scared of the bridge suddenly i duno why. so i turned back and walked to the wrong bus stop (1 sign i was half zombie-c) and went to the other stop to take the bus to mrt. then when i reached into my bag, i realised my wallet was gone.

tada. so .....frantically i realised how thankful i was the place was ulu. i backtracked the whole way. to the bridge. no sign of a earth coloured wallet. i started that whole prayer thing. if you cant do anything about it, just"give it to God, what else is there to do?" right? so with no proof and no sign, i just told God......ok......"This is it. again! i need you to help me. this time it's for real. my Identity card is worth $300 and i lost it 3 times already."

backtrack backtrack. no sign of it.
Thinking of all the trouble i have to go through to replace that i.c. and the atm cards. and etc.
then having to cancel the next appointment and some explaining.

suddenly, a call.
jaw drop.
hope.

"hello is this ........Chan.....eh......Kim-berly....? eh i ........seee your I.C. with me......."
it was one of those workers who found it. and was honest enough to return it. i was so glad relieved from walking around in my half zombie state, feeling uncomfortable enough and tired and dealing with some indecision, fear of bridges, tiredness, slightly lousy clubbing the night before (but good music), and there it was a lost wallet that got found.........after some serious heart wrenching prayers the kind you really pray from your spirit man deep within. from your gut.

and sometimes when you don't expect it, you get to meet angels and talk to them ;) 

chasing your own adventure

.....i think any kind of adventure which has God in it is super exciting, even when you're alone. :)
maximise each second. :)
but in the end the unstoppable will still happen ......who is....dunno yet.

i am on one hand having much passion for helping others and just accompanying people who need a friend and yet i am also......soul searching. for my purpose and reason on this earth. what should i do......?
hm.....

on the other hand, missing the cold in december last year. and the people.....

but probably going some third world country haha. or second and half world country.

why am i sleepy every monday

because i have to run in the evening. and when i don't think i have to run....i actually....run a LOT better. why? if my whole day is focussed on running i cant focus at work as i wanna save energy for my run. then after work.......
i feel unaccomplished at work so its frustrating.
so will just tell myself i am not running every monday so i don't "save energy" for it....does that work.....hm........

i fell in love with this song

heard this song at a secondary school mate's wedding and thought it was so touching or sad at first.
turns out it's actually pretty happy...if you read the whole song's lyrics. :) oh well.

Cool week for me. will always remember

people in my workplace thought it was a public holiday.
and also using example which is prob the best method to teach someone that is why i am all alone at work today trying to finish this simple task.
but happy to do so. thankful its a really simple task. mundane but brainless. simple but helpful (to others). unchallenging but easy.

The few hours retreat - 10 hours up to desaru was nice. the space everywhere even in the meeting halls, the beach was good enough for me.

and yup, a quiet place is a good place to seek Him. I am still thankful to get all my answers to the most detailed questions thrown (by me) yesterday.

Also was an eventful week.
I got to meet and talk to a couple  - Messianic Jews in ministry. 4 things spoke to me. some things talked about spoke to me on a personal level. the last point for others.

1. seriousness of heart in matters of the heart
2. prayer to God instead of worrying or etc.
3. the way/method to go about something is as impt as achieving the goal.
4. Receiving Jesus is not a national thing. It's a personal thing.

check out the beach pics coming soon