do we worry too much

I miss the times i was overseas on some expedition. I miss roughing it out in jungles, crossing rivers, swimming in dirty rivers for recreation, running in the rain to the nearest shelter, building little shelters, waking at 530am for group QT.
But then again....
We have it too here in singapore. its just that whatever we do is a lot more modernised. we are still working, in the rainy weather, talking to people, getting rejected, running (except in the rat race this time). sometimes i feel the only thing we gotta look out especially here is that we take care of our healths and others' (people around) healths and well being. sometimes work gets the better of us and the fear of losing what we have (aka money). maintaining our money in the bank becomes more important than our happiness, our sleep, our health, our enjoyment of life and what God has provided and will provide.
Jesus said,
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
If you look around, you will see that thise verse is true. Matt 6:26

cured my phobia

reflecting, i realised things i was afraid of in 2006 till oct 2010, now i'm no more afraid of. Working experience does cure phobias big time. :)

my lamest blog

Sigh there were comments from 1 friend that my this blog is lame. but seriously i designed it to be lame and almost blameless....what to do when....the whole world knows this blog. right anot?

So you must know where you keep your info...on the rite spaces. heh.
I am currently very occupied for various performance reasons, with the song......."Identity" by Lecrae, a black american, christian hip hopper.(check out his fantastic youtubes)
This whole week has made me seriously think.......can i do this job?

Is this what i want long term? Is this what God wants for me? Is this what I want or what my friends think i can do? Is this what i believe i can do deep down? Or is this what my friends suggested i can do? Is this a job i chose cos my good friends are in it? Or is it what i personally have a desire for and confidence in? Even if my friends say "i don't think its an easy job." or "Are you the type for this?" do i really believe i can do it? is my interest and confidence enough to sustain through longer haul? see? i don't EVEN trust what good friends suggest or advice 100%. I tried praying very seriously sunday night. on my knees. before i drifted into dreamworld, just before the dream started, there seemed to be this impression of being in a job (maybe not now) where it was possible for me to travel overseas. i duno......if you see a map and a sail boat, or compass.....hopefully some lobang for overseas placements in future. but maybe its a job where i start small
and in sg.

last weekend's sermons

Ok....I was really ministered to by an Indonesian pastor who shared all the trials of his life and in others back in his hometown and how You have brought them through and sometimes, healed them completely.

First point he mentioned was "If anyone of u is sick or even have cancer, don't just sit there and wait to be healed. Go out there and pray for others WORSE than you.You will be surprised at God's results."

Second point that struck me to the spirit was this "How is it possible that a life lived with God in the centre can EVER be miserable?"

how can a life lived with God in the centre EVER be miserable?

I was feeling a little down or disappointed yesterday. Still i decided to go for the interview that I already agreed to go for. No doubt i was late but my last student, Yoon Siik seemed not to be coming for class (Very late) so I told my colleague to take him should he come.
After the long squeezy mrt ride where everyone had just enough space to breathe and shake a little in their 1 square foot standing space, i finally arrived. This is it! Late! I'm either going to get asked to come back the next time there are interviews or get turned down at the entrance.
Surprisingly, they let me come into the group interview. I was reluctant to start. No way would someone as displaced (feeling at that time), out of place, unprepared and unsure about myself do well presenting a 15 min lesson to the group of other interviewees. I even told the interviewer twice, "Please let me go. I am sorry but I didn't prepare anything. I'll come back the next time round."
Twice she insisted for me to stay by reminding me about my previous teaching experience (teach what you taught before) and that I should just do my best since I was already there.
Ok....might as well, I thought. I didn't want to spoil the mood of everyone there as they were hopeful and enthusiastic and I was like trembling or tongue tied with writer's block (or lesson block) inside. So i scrambled to write some notes down and the memories came back. Science lesson? No....i forgot my facts. Maths lesson? No....Too boring I won't even be interested in my lesson. English lesson? Ok....Then the ideas rolled in. Just like that. From the 2 day training course i had on teaching in january, to charades i played with friends, to the beautiful story about Jackie Robinson.
The group dynamics was good. Everyone wanted to make friends with everyone after that. A life lived with God in the centre miserable?