right now i'm imagining myself sitting in a warm starbucks cafe at night and having a serious talk with some closer pals, the kind of friends you can just be totally yourself with, rant and rave and they still accept you, laugh with you or nod in sympathy with you and really can feel what you're going through (not just superficially).
it has occurred to me this month through various circumstances (mostly not so pleasant) that the key to healing emotionally and spiritually is NOT just hearing or knowing the comforting words of God.
It is...... For-giveness. Forgiveness is one subtle but potent, vital remedy to wounded hearts or souls and speeds our very own healing process - of emotions, spirit and soul.
Yes, our God is the Most-merciful. His promises are so assuring and comforting.
But is it enough to just hear and lean on those promises? I realised when I was 14, some circumstances in life really challenged me and yes i clung on to the promises of His love BUT there was something more, a step further, i had to do, that i could do, something i could do that was proactive yet not difficult.
In my inner spirit, i knew i could forgive those that had hurt me. No matter how angry i was. So i did. it was uncomfortable, it was difficult. It feels nice holding on to a grudge because a grudge feels like "haha i'm making them payback for what they did by staying angry".
then gradually as i forgave, i realised it was changing me. i don't know about others around but it was as though a burden was off me! i was happier! i could smile, i could look them in the eye, i could be friendly, i didn't have to waste time frowning/sulking, i didn't have to waste energy in saying something back "later" (revenge?), or praying to God for justice. how emotionally draining and ageing that can be. arghhhhh.......
yupz, and because i learnt how to forgive, my next few years in high school have been memorable till i graduated from there; even though it was unpleasant at the start.
what a good reminder it was thru a sharing at tues group.
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