sudden swerving

What an exciting and also non-exciting week. The oymoron and paradox.
I am not confused. I am just in a paradox-ical week where things can be, depending on how you look at it, very good or very bad. I am not exaggerating. Thus it leaves me at a crossroads once again. And a big thing thrown at me for december which is exciting and cool yet scary....financially.

Sometimes you think your purpose in life is along the lines of :
Matt 13: 57-58
"Only in his hometown and own house is a prophet without honor"
I keep reading about this in a book "Stolen identity" by Ron Cantor and in the bible it popped out (this passage) today. Jesus performed so many miracles and people there in front of him didn't believe in him. his own people.

But then God re-directs your paths along the lines of another country, another people group and another purpose that you didnt expect at all but still love. Not bad, a God that surprises, and  God that knows our hearts and all its desires, goals, past.

a lot of work at work

finally started work......in a job that's really all work. i don't think there's ever a job where you can just do your part (job scope) and not bother or worry about other aspects in the job. so here i am multitasking. not at work now while typing this. people can really take up so much of effort sometimes. sigh. and managing yourself....your own emotions is in itself book-worthy (can be written into a book, as many guys put it). you know what? let's just say that guys are not as emotionally expressive as girls. you guys summarize a whole paragraph of what you think and feel into 2 words? lol lol.
sometimes i think to myself....there's so many people you can "want to please" if you want to. but truth is, do you need to please everyone or just find your own niche? especially in this cold empty world where people just are 2 words - they don't really know how to care for you the way that you want. it's not that they are selfish. it's not that they care only of themselves. but then again who doesnt want to care for themselves first? it's practically human fallen nature. let's just say they don't know how to care for you the way that only GOD knows how to. And. so. its easy to say "having God love you is enough" but is that enough?
i doubt.......but when all else fails.......where there are no humans around, that has to be enough. for that period of time in life, at least.